Monday, July 14, 2008

A Bit Emotional....

Photobucket
Have you ever questioned where you are in life and how you got there? Well, this was one of those weekends...I was overwhelmed with questions and thoughts about some of my biggest life decisions...Did I do the right thing 5 years ago when I left my job to stay home with my ill daughter? Until then I had been very independant working since the age of 14...I moved out of my parents home at 18 and have never looked back...I worked in Corporate America while putting myself through college without the help of my parents, loans or grants...I was focused and determined...I paid for each class with cash...while supporting myself and living alone in NYC...I prevailed and upon graduation found myself 8 months pregnant and alone...I thought I was in love and loved but, to my surprise it turned out not to be true...What's a girl to do...? Professionally, everything that I had dreamed of since I was a little girl was about to happen...Did I really need a baby now? It gets better....at 3 months pregnant I learned that my child would be born with a disabiling, genetic disease...What's a girl to do? My answer came from the most unexpected place, someone who didn't know me or anything about my situation...My new boss...He didn't know me long but from what he could tell he promised me that I had what it took to do this...I took his advice and had my daughter alone. I can't explain how much love I have for him today...I can honestly say that without him coming into my life when he did, I don't think my daughter would be here today...I digress...Sorry. I said all that to say, I have learned that you never know where the words you need to hear just when you need to hear them will come from...This weekend those words came from a stranger on a park bench...while wating on a friend this woman struck up a conversation with me about her daughter and their struggles and triumphs and how they got through...Now, I'm a spiritual person, not an organized religion person...I went to church yesterday to pick-up my daughter and deep down inside I was hoping to hear something that would quiet my anxiety about my future and what direction I should go....was I doing the right thing by myself and my daughter...trouble was I didn't find that at church yesterday...So, while sitting in Central Park I thought to myself, I needed a sign that everything will be o.k....That I'm o.k...that my daughter will be o.k...and BAM, sitting to my right this woman begins to comfort me...She did not know me...she did not know that I quit my job 5 years ago after my daughter suffered a stroke and the doctor told me that it wasn't her first stroke...(what kind of mom doesn't realize that her child has had a stroke? A mom trying to do it all that's what kind)...she didn't know that I had to fight her father for enough child support for me to stay home with her...she didn't know that my daughter was diagnoised with dyslexia and was 3 years behind her peers in school and I had to fight the Board of Education to pay for private school...She did not know that every 3 weeks my daughter gets a blood transfusion and that I have have to make like life and death decisions almost daily...She didn't know any of that...The only thing she knew was what she saw, a mother and her daughter having fun in a park...And the words she gave me have put the wind back in my wings...She said, "your daughter seems very special and you must be doing a wonderful job with her...It's so obvious that she is loved and she loves you...whatever your doing keep it up." (tears) Just what I needed to hear...when I needed to hear it. Life, gotta luv it.

OMG, this post is going on and on...just to say - the message you need to hear will come when you need to hear it...just know that it may not come from who or where you think it will...
Be open...I'm open and listening.

9 comments:

  1. Donna...you are such an inspirational mommy! I definitely think that you made the right decision, because your love is keeping your little girl healthy,your love is a part of her treatment, it is not just the medicine and transfusions. She needs you to keep her spirit healthy...so keep doing what you are doing...a great job as a great mom. She will always remember these days and build her life upon the time and the things that you give and show her. All the best lady! You Have What It Takes or else you would not have been given the opportunity!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You were meant to have her.....

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have been feeling really down lately, and it's funny you wrote that post. I actually did go to church tonight, and heard some things I really needed to hear. I will say a prayer for you tonight! You are a terrific mom! I can say that, and I don't even know you personally...it just comes through in the blog postings where you talk about your mini-me! Keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's true that you never know where God's answers will come from. Blessings to you and your sweet child!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Isn't the universe wonderful. It's amazing how things work out and validate your life when you and your heart are open to the mysteries of the world. I know that you will treasure that statement forever possibly because it truly gave you validation that you are awesome.

    toya

    ReplyDelete
  6. i only 'know' you through this blog and one of the first things i was drawn to about the blog is the special relationship you have with your daughter. anyone reading can just tell how loved she is, and what a wonderful mother you are. the fun you both have together is always evident. i think you are doing a wonderful job and are an inspiration to other mothers out there.

    ReplyDelete
  7. YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN LIFE. YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOD WITH YOUR LIFE AND YOUR DAUGHTER. AS YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW IAM A BELIVER IN BELIVER IN GOD .AND MAYBE WHEN YOU WENT TO CHURCH THAT MESSAGE WASN'T FOR YOU ;BUT TO SOMEONE ELSE.BUT YOU SEE HOW GREAT GOD IS HE USED THAT WOMAN TO GET HIS POINT ACROSS TO YOU KEEP PRAYING AND KEEP THE FAITH . GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I happened on your blog by chance, and then this particular post the same way. But you are right: the sources of our inspiration can be surprising. Equally surprising are the things we say that affect other people. Did the woman on the park bench know what she did for you? Does she today? We must be ready to share ourselves with our fellow humans in the same way, and maybe we can all change the world for the better!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Right now I'm a single mom and I try my best to "grow" Ưith my little-4-year-old girl. Your post give me some hope that what I'm doing now is right. Lots of greetings for both of you from Vietnam

    ReplyDelete

Live the life you dream about...I dare you.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...